The Accidental Wingman: A Night In Bariloche

19 12 2011

Upon arrival in Bariloche, Argentina, we settle in to our hostel, the “La Pastorella,” and its proprietors take complete control of the situation. That is to say, if you like an Italian-esque Mama to control everything. She was quite “maternal,” to say the least! Well, they are “cute,” so to speak, but once again, nobody speaks any English, and it was quite evident that we better not do anything contrary to the rules!

The Swiss-styled chalet has outdoors-facing shutters, which come in handy as daybreak is about 5:30 a.m. Anyway we quickly settle in. Saskia gives us orders to shop and grab food for a picnic lunch. That’s because tomorrow we are to head out on to Lake Nahuel Huapi for a boat ride and then a hike! We won’t have much chance to get a restaurant lunch. Here I go again. I keep finding ham and cheese sandwiches and nothing but dry  bread to go with! On this trip, I have never seen so many ham and cheese sandwiches. These are actually served on the national airline! They are one slice ham, one slice cheese, plain, in between two dry crackly pieces of bread. I try to improve by buying my own bread and cheese and some salami…and a banana.

Elwin and I and Ivo head back to the hostel to drop of our supplies and then head down to the waterfront. Bariloche claims 100,000+ residents. It’s supposed to be kind of sort of Swiss or Austrian-looking, and indeed some of the architecture attempts the motif. But it’s not carried through to enough of the buildings – in fact there is a gaudy casino smack in the middle of the main drag. There are lots of restaurants, ice cream parlours and chocolate shops.

We arrive at the waterfront. We’ve been wondering why, after all these BLUE days, the sky to the west is cloudy? The Andes on the opposite side of the lake, some 15 miles away, were obscured. We were to find out why. What we were witnessing were not clouds. It was ash from the Puyehue volcano, awakening again as it has all summer 2011!  Will it be a problem for our trip? We are to cross the border into Chile soon!

What is that?

Tonight we are to find our own meals and entertainment. With our trip back and forth to the hostel, we lose track of Eray, Angelique and Christof. This was to be the start of an eventful evening! Right now, we are in a hunt for a good meal, and being that it’s around 8 p.m., the restaurants are deserted – nobody eats until past nine!

We strike gold at a restaurant attached to a “Swiss” hotel. Our waitress speaks decent English and is very attentive. We order a bottle of Malbec. The food is terrific! I have a roasted chicken breast which is plump and cooked to perfection.  It has a mushroom cream sauce. Still, we miss our companions Angelique, Eray and Christof – they’d enjoy this place. Ivo has a dish of deer with another type of mushroom sauce and is in heaven. He offers me a bite, which I accept, and my oh my – this warm, sweet mellow flavor, almost like a hint of wine, caresses my tongue – Wow! The waitress says the sauce is just from the mushrooms, and I think they are chantrelles. The explosion of flavor is amazing! We order another bottle of Malbec…

There is only one other table seated, and we hear language hard to understand. Elwin is fascinated. Is it German, or Swiss German, or? Elwin is infatuated, and it is irresistable…he wanders over and talks with these guests, and it turns out three are Swiss, and one of them moved to Bariloche from Switzerland 65 years ago! So we have encountered a first generation European Argentine! Truly living history.

Having satiated ourselves with food, we want to find a pub where local people gather. But of course we don’t know the first thing about the city. We remember a pub we passed on the way down here, so we walk back that way. Looking inside, it looks pretty dead. We pass it up, and walk toward our hostel. But not a half block away I stare into a window of what kind of looks like a dive bar, and something says to me, “This has the makings of the right kind of place – casual, taps, dimly lit, and the people look like they are fun.” So I say let’s give it a try?

We go in, and while ordering our drinks run into Neil, a friendly guy who is a trail groomer at the local ski area! He talks all about grooming, the snow cat, etc. I inquire about the ski season and the conditions. He says it wasn’t a lot of dry snow this year, and believe it or not, the ash from the Puyehue sometimes made the snow grayish! We tell him about Los Alerces National Park and the whales we saw on the coast.

More and more people arrive, and Neil tells me this is a magnet for people working in the tourist or hospitality industry. Then this beautiful woman sits down at the bar. She’s got very light brown hair, parted on the side, and lovely eyes and dangley earrings. She’s so lovely I am having a hard time looking away from her. I’m just enamored, and I point her out to Elwin, and then so is he. She is very involved in conversation with a guy, who seems older than she. Another beer please…and Ivo manages to get an 18-year-old Scotch whiskey and they charge him for a regular one!

It’s not long before it is shoulder to shoulder in here! And somehow we run into two very memorable people. They are British blokes who’ve walked all the way from Buenos Aires to Bariloche (read their blog). It took them three months. Names are Mat and Rob, and Elwin calls Rob “the giant.” We talk all about where we’ve been, where we’re going and learn what it’s like to walk and sleep by the road! Ivo says a lot about his obsession with Scotch Whiskey. I keep my eye on that lovely girl. Mat and Rob bought rounds, we talk about Star Trek and Battlestar Gallactica…what it’s like to be a ski area trail groomer…then I order a round…and I look at the bar and Elwin is somehow talking face to face with the lovely woman at the bar! I marvel how this happened and remark to Mat and Rob how I completely missed it! In fact we are all so impressed, but Elwin and she are having a spirited conversation, and I am beside myself.

I don’t remember exactly how, but somehow I walked over and introduced myself, and her name is Carolina. She’s incredibly friendly, not at all put off by us. I had expected her to be totally defensive. It turns out the guy she was talking to earlier in the evening was her boss! And, he is very enamored with her, and she is not sure what to do about it. I say yes, that is a truly difficult situation. Apparently he is the jealous type.

At this point Elwin heads to the WC. Carolina tells me she thinks he is really great and hopes he will come back! We talk about Bariloche and it turns out she grew up around here. I am still taken aback how so many Argentines are European looking, and she is a fine example.

Well, Elwin returns, and I move on to allow the two of them enjoy each others company.

Elwin is by now, like me, getting pretty hammered. My “good side” wants to go home, but because he is occupied, I become the wingman. Elwin says he will need some guidance to get back. So I make it my duty to stay until the bitter end.

This turns out to almost be my undoing. I go round after round with Rob and Mat. My gut is so full of beer and my head is beginning to spin! At least the pub is so crowded I can lean on others to keep me up. Carolina walks to the other end of the room and sits with some friends. I go over there, and this fat guy tells me to “FLY”!!! I surmise the situation is that he is some kind of “protector” for Carolina, and he doesn’t know she and I are acquainted. Rather than cause a commotion, I just let things flow, though I am tempted to ask Carolina to tell him to go take a “flying leap.”

I guess one beer later Elwin decides it’s time to head home, so we bid our good-byes and I get contact information from Rob and Mat. Outside, we encounter folks lined up to get inside. I don’t know how or why, but we get into this conversation with this punk who is trying to score some pot. He thinks he has smoked the best pot in the world. Elwin has something to tell him…for God’s sakes, in Holland, they have the world’s global pot/hash capital in Amsterdam! This guy needs to go there to find out the real “holy grail” of pot!

Uggh. We make it back to the hotel, and I’m thoroughly awash in beer…ugly…tomorrow’s going to be a challenge!





Mythbusters does the Star Trek Gorn Episode…

27 05 2010

OK I admit I do like Star Trek. The Gorn episode from the original series – that’s one I totally remember from when I was like five years old. And back then, that cheesy Gorn kind of scared me. Captain Kirk is stuck on this planet forced to battle with this alien called a Gorn, a man-reptile with super strength, a captain from an alien starship. Whoever wins takes all. It’s all controlled by some super race watching who wins.

My favorite quote from the episode is the Gorn: “I shall be merciful and quick!”

The Gorn threatens Kirk

So, the Gorn is so much stronger than Kirk, there’s no way Kirk can beat the guy physically. It’s gonna have to come down to some good old human ingenuity. Kirk happens upon some bamboo and then finds the material to make a bazooka. He finds charcoal, sulphur and some diamonds….all stuff left there by the super race. He winds up blowing up the reptile guy.

So, what do you think? Here is the original, and the MythBusters version? Pay special attention to the two handed back punch followed by the karate chop! And the dropped dagger!

Original Gorn Episode…

Mythbusters Sequence!